down the rabbit hole

i am not happy. i just.. cant seem to get things right. aside from having the man and dog of my dreams i have crap. and im trying to change things. but no one is throwin me a bone. i submitted my resum to a dream job and havent heard anything.. its been a week. i feel like im drowning. shane hasnt heard anything about the deployment. not sure where hell be going. i realized last night i am not independent. i am because i have to be. im actuallt very dependent and right now i have no one i can depend on.. im frustrated. ughhh just a liittle help would be great. just the job thing... please