You may ask yourself "is there anyone so alone?" but there's no beep before the dial-tone

So, I am leaving Good Samaritan. I submitted my two weeks notice on Sunday and will not be there in May. It was a long time coming but I just got pushed over the edge. I got in a confrontation with another worker. She yelled at me for using the over head page 3 times during church service. I had no other choice. None the less she caused a big scene in front of a group of visitors and everyone who caught wind said she was wrong. The administrator made her apologize and HR made me write a statement. I had no problem with her I just wanted to know what I should do in the situation when i need to page but its during church service. So they made a big deal and made me out to be a victim and that they supported me and then I got a call saying I was not to work Wednesdays anymore. They were gonna give me a Sunday morning shift. There was also no explanation of this decision. When I got there Sunday I was pretty sure of my plans. And then I found no letter no note nothing. They just dismissed it and punished me. I figured that they must not think I can handle a week day shift appropriately. Also the day girl is getting surgery this week and even though I covered her vacation I guess I'm not good enough to cover this now. So it's bull and I'm done. I thought I was getting somewhere by having a week day shift and they took it away.

I submitted my resume to at least 7 places since. Yesterday I got an email from Woodforest bank to do a phone interview. I called a little bit ago but got voicemail so I left a message. Shane is very amusing. He is very unhelpful when it comes to job stuff. He tries but he doesn't really know. Besides I know damn well most places will see USMC and look no further.

We got to see our lovely friends Brooke and Glenn this weekend. I had missed them so much!! And I got to show Brooke my wedding gown. Her excitement made me excited again. Plus I hadn't worn it since I picked it up in August so it was good to see I still love it.
Shane and I have pretty much settled on our reception venue. We want to see it in October before we lock it down. It is a great price which is fantastic because to set up what I want we need the extra money for tropical flowers and put of season fruit. It's pretty exciting.

Shane could leave any day. Military.. never exact. I'm getting a bit anxious because its so close and I feel like there's so much to do. And they haven't given him any extra time off.

Well I have a whole list of things to do today so I should really get started on that.

down the rabbit hole

i am not happy. i just.. cant seem to get things right. aside from having the man and dog of my dreams i have crap. and im trying to change things. but no one is throwin me a bone. i submitted my resum to a dream job and havent heard anything.. its been a week. i feel like im drowning. shane hasnt heard anything about the deployment. not sure where hell be going. i realized last night i am not independent. i am because i have to be. im actuallt very dependent and right now i have no one i can depend on.. im frustrated. ughhh just a liittle help would be great. just the job thing... please

Remember Me

Remember when I had a blog that I wrote in. And i had this resolution to write in once a week.. yeah.. what happened to that?

LIfe has happened once again. Shane got reactivated for this year. He is being deployed to bahrain for 3 months at some point too. I had to almost give up good sams. i only work one day a week there now because i could work 7 days and just not see shane ever.

Ive been feeling really alone lately. Besides him being away during the week I just dont hang out with people. The ones I would have hung out with moved to another state. and i havent spoken with in a couple weeks. wether that was my choosing or not i havent even gotten a "how you holdin up" but its cool friends arent supposed to be sympathetic. theyre supposed to be able to judge you and youre supposed to be ok with it... bc youre friends.

im just lost lately. more longterm thoughts in the process. shane will be going back to school for aviation after this and i gotta figure out what im doing. life is not what it should yet be.

i oughta get dressed... we're off to geocache soon

Uhoh Roll Down The Window!

Not very much new since the last post. I did my solo shifts at Good Sams and I think did very well. I was really nervous but I guess it went alright. One of the residents there, who is usually quite mean, seems to have taken a liking to me. She said I'm tender looking. She spent all 4 hrs with me on Wed. Training Oz is.. ok. I think partly hes getting better at holding his bladder. The trouble really is getting him to not attack the cat and right now hes into humping my leg. Oh and chewing on hands. It's hard especially with Shane away for the week. He came home Wed night but I guess he must have gotten up late because he neglected to take Oz out before he left. the next morn, So I was out there at 5 am. And a good thing I did too.

I finally used my gift card for the spa yesterday. It was really nice but also exhausting. I was there for 6 hrs. And I was getting really hungry. Those people were such perfectionists. I'm like its fine move on so I can go home!! But it was really relaxing. I got a fullo body massage followed by a facial. It was my first facial.. really awesome. Then I got my hair shampooed and blow dryed. After that was my pedicure and then a paraffin hand treatment and lastly the manicure.

I went to staples after to see about the scheduling. So I talked with my manager and explained my current hours at good sams and what we could do so he reworked it all because they are trying to do plannagrams next week and I am like the planagram queen.. well no. It's that the 2 they are trying to do are the largest and hardest.. the entire ink wall for one. I'm the only one that every does the ink planogram bc its mind boggling. So I'm there 4 days next week. doing that. He wasn't able to tell me about my wages yet but I know I'm getting a pay cut. Which is a little scary but doable. I also had to turn in my key. So I am officially no longer a keyholder.. little weird for me. I've been doing that for 3 years.

Nothing else too interesting. I get to see my lovely friends Brooke and Glenn tomorrow. I can't wait. And then i think I might go visit my sister so she can see the pup. No work for me until monday (of course when shane is back). I think it's lunch time. (my title is the color i chose for my nails..idk if that means puke or fart.. either way its kinda a put off.. ehh not ot me)

ITS STILL FRIDAY

I made it. Phew. I have news.

I have been working at Good Samaritan as well as Staples for a couple weeks now. Good Sams is nice. It's actually a bit boring. I'm so used to go go go in retail and the night shift especially at good sams is very dull. I hope they will give me more clerical work to do. I have my first shifts on my own this week on tues and wed night. I think I'll be alright. I'm sure Anita will want me to call if I need anything at all. But I'm pretty sure Shanes mom is always nights so I could probably send a shout to her if i need help too. So far they all seem to love me and I've picked up the stuff very quickly. Apparently they've had many without brains and they're happy to see how fast I learn.

Staples still annoys me but its damn near going away soon. They didn't even schedule me for next week (last I knew I still worked there though). It's not so much the place. And I do enjoy a lot of the work. It's just certain people. I wanted to strangle Marie several times in the 10hrs I worked with her this week.

Shane is home. Thank god. He came back on Sunday and I had to close at good sams that night. So he actually was visiting Angie and was behind them on the road as I turned onto that road. So he stopped in which I didn't like. I couldn't react to him in the way I wanted to. So he left and made us dinner that night. When I got home I ran into his arms and cried for awhile. It was just such a relief to be in his embrace again. I called staples and requested a personal day on Monday. I didn't think they'd let me but i guess the fact that i didn't lie and fake sick was good too. I just needed to have a day with him at least. I've had to work at one place or the other every day since. And I do tomorrow as well.

In other news... SHANE AND I HAVE A PUPPY!!! We went to the mall on Monday and had to go in the pet store. They had a cavalier king charles spaniel there. He was beautiful. That's always been my dream dog. I batted my eyes and pouted and guilted him all day because I wanted the dog so bad. And finally gave up, for the most part. Dropping a line every now and then. Tonight we met at price chopper after work and he told me he had something to show me. AND THERE HE WAS. We named him Oz (i named my puppies...and children for that matter.. long ago..Eden for a girl Oz for a boy..for the puppies that is). He is extremely hyper and we have a lot of work to do but we love him. Our family is really coming together! Its a happy day. week really. And I was recently thinking.. while its been tough this year its been good too. I moved out of my parents house, I supported myself, I got lasik, I got engaged, I bought a wedding gown, I went on trips alone, I got a new job. A lot of serious growing up changes

you say you dont want to know where this road goes cause you dont want to spoil the suprise

I'm actually posting on a Friday. And what news have I? Well I currently "technically" have 2 jobs now. I am starting at Good Samaritan next week I believe. I have to do a physical on Monday and then Tuesday is paid orientation and then who knows from there. But the chaos of  back to school season has damn near toppled me. And I got a vaccination the other day that hurt way more than it should i was in so much pain after being stuck at register for 5 hours that I cried in my car for 10 minutes. If you have children, please don't ever be mean to an hourly worker in ANY store because the school asks for a red folder, and they are out of red folders. Guess what, everyone was looking for a red folder and you got here the day before school.. you're the idiot, not the worker. UGH

Shane should be home next week. I'm sooo ready for that. This summer has been ridiculously hard for so many reasons. This whole year really, has been rough. I've had some pretty decent traumatic events and needed him. From my lasik, to the dryer electrocution. And then the hurricane. And now this stress from work. oi. I need my co-captain.

Anyway, just thought I'd update on a Friday. Maybe its all downhill from here. Ya know, new job, Shane back. Lets hope.

Its safe to surmise there'll be storms sometimes

I should so be sleeping right now. I am in the midst of the 2 hell weeks of the year in back to school season and I am stressed to the max. And I'm running on a low amount of sleep. It's really not gonna end well. Everyday I expect myself to blow up at a customer. Or if not that.. they hired back my ex, Aaron. He turned me into a mess a couple years ago and left me a sniveling sad pathetic excuse for a human. At the end of it all I was seriously ready to end my life. I know it doesn't matter now and I'm in SUCH an amazing place but just to see him reminds me of how low I fell and what it felt like. Whatever its over soon.

So I went to Virginia and had a blasty blast. We did so much fun geocaching and just spending time with my brookles.. I loved it. I feel that we got to reconnect more than we have in a long time through some of our talks. I miss her so much.

I survived the tunnel several times.. didn't like ti but i did it. And then not long after my return there was the earthquake in VA.. weird. I felt it at work. We all did.. just felt like i was gonna pass out dizzy and then noticed everyone had the same feeling. And then I saw the ink wall.. every box was swaying.. it was kinda cool.

And then of courser... IRENE. bitch. That was.. interesting. Just another reminder about how much I hate living alone. And the generator did not get fixed like it was supposed to before Shane left.. SO I was without power until Tuesday night. All the food in my fridge and freezer was trash. The Jew in me is super pissed about how much money I've thrown in the trash over this year. My parents are still without power, but they have a generator. I just got cable/phone/Internet back today. Finally got to talk with Shane. God I miss him.

Umm.. Oh. So I had gotten a call from BOA just before my VA trip but I was unable to do a second interview then. And I haven't heard anything since. But I decided, even though the pay is good, its still a sales position. There is still pressure to meet certain goals and I hate that. HOWEVER. I finally got in contact with the guy from good sams. And they offered me a job. It's only part time and is actually slightly less than staples (i just got a raise at staples.. now its like.. .30 less.) But its a foot in the door. I have to go on Wed and do a physical and then I can get started. I'm really excited about it. I hate change so I'm nervous.. but I just cant do retail anymore. and the bts is killing me.

I think that's pretty much everything. I really need to get some sleep now though. Early days for awhile.. god i hate that place. BUT GREAT NEWS only about 19 days till I'm back in Shane's arms.. it cant come fast enough!!!!!